Helena's Losing It!

Back to Blogging

2009-09-03T19:09:00.002+01:00

So. Haven't blogged for ages. Gawd knows why...I've had enough to ramble on about! Just haven't had the inclination for some reason. Anyway...today I have a new reason. After last week's unexpected gain, I have decided to do something different.

This week's food diary is going to be illustrated with photograps!! I am hoping it will make me realise just how much I'm eating and what I'm eating.

Is this bordering on obsession? Perhaps. However, I've been losing so slowly (or rather, bouncing around the same few lbs) that I need to do something different.

Temporarily less glum about dieting...

2009-06-17T13:53:00.002+01:00

Last week I had a good loss. 2lbs. Winner. Why can't all weeks be like that?

It's WI time again and guess what? I feel like I'm going to gain! Surprise surprise. I have been an absolute SW angel this week and felt utterly in control, which has felt marvellous...but what if I don't lose?

I stayed with a friend who's doing WW at the weekend and it made me think that I don't want to go back to weighing and pointing every morsel I put in my mouth. I also think back to how obsessed I was with points in everything and how that wasn't healthy.

So...fear not dear SW friends, I am sticking with it for now...until I get glum about it again when I will consider all available options, including the maple syrup diet, liposuction and spending £1500 on a week's boot camp!! Tres realistic, oui?

Down in the Dumps

2009-06-10T11:16:00.004+01:00

It is that time of the week again - weigh in day. This week I am absolutely dreading it. I had a 1lb gain last week which, although annoying, was slightly expected. I mean, I had a great weekend with the girls and drank quite a bit...but thought I'd done enough to compensate for that. I partially blamed it on the warm weather and possible water retention.

This week - no excuses!

I have written everything down angelically - even though it's killed me sometimes. I've had such munchies and have literally been prowling the kitchen for things to scoff! It's disgusting actually. But I've written it down, have stayed within max syns and if I don't lose at least that 1lb I gained last week I will be so cross. I don't know why!!! I need to wait and see what the actual results are before I panic, but I am not confident at all.

It shouldn't be like this. I am so envious of other people who are losing nice, steady amounts each week. 1lb, 2lb, 3lb... at that rate I wouldn't take long to get to my goal. I'm only a stone and a half away from it really... But losing those 21lbs seem a million miles away.

What can I do? Should I go back to WW after such a long stint away from it? I've given SW a decent chance now. I like it, but perhaps it just isn't right for me? There's a class at the same time as mine that I could go to, so my WI day and routine needn't change.

Ah well - I have 2 weeks of Countdown left. If nothing shifts with all my efforts over the next two weeks, I think back to WW it will be....

Bank Holiday Binge

2009-05-25T18:39:00.002+01:00

What is it with Bank Holidays and eating? And drinking? Huh?
I have been using every ounce of willpower in my body to resist stuff this weekend. Not done brilliantly, but not too bad considering the craving for eating that I've been having. It's been horrendous!
Friday was ok - I spent 15 syns on half a bottle of wine, which I really enjoyed. Saturday wasn't too bad except we went over to Ed's parents for lunch and Sue is a fantastic cook...but I never know what I'm going to get. I was faced with bread, pastry, wine, cake...all fabulous and too good to resist. So I had small portions...but of everything. And then proceeded to drink more wine when we got home! Didn't have a proper dinner though, just fruit.
Had a BBQ yesterday - fabulous that the sun has finally returned. Farmers market on in the village, which was fab. Bought loads of nice meat and ate a great red lunch, with salad and only one piece of bread. Dad has a tendancy to drown food in olive oil though, which, whilst being a healthy oil, is still oil! But I went a bit loopy on wine during the evening. I also had a couple of biscuits with cheese. Ok, whilst not a total binge, it wasn't planned or within syns.
So, I've had to resort to minimum syns today to compensate for the wine and food from the weekend. You know what though, it's not so bad. I've learned quite a valuable lesson over the last few months - I can enjoy myself at weekends and still stay on plan. I just need to have some self control and count, count, count my syns, HEs and be flexible with myself. It doesn't have to be torture, I don't have to drown in guilt over what I'm eating and drinking (I still do that a bit, but I am good at kicking myself in the bum).

Tell you what else I've also learned. Boredom is my biggest danger. I am such a boredom eater. But I will definitely have to start doing something to combat that now I know what it is! It's weird that I have only just noticed it. I always knew it was a bit of a problem, but last night made me realise just how much. It was horrible! I hate being bored and eating seems to alleviate the boredom, albeit temporarily. As soon as I've finished eating one thing I go looking for something else. I am going to have to tackle my trigger head on. Never be bored again! LOL!

Where the Blog have I been?!?!

2009-05-19T10:40:00.002+01:00

Howdy.

Time to resurrect the old blog. Not that I ever really got going massively with it, but I think I just got a bit fed up of keeping an online journal as well as my fatclub journals and minimins food diary... Overload!

Where am I up to?

Well, I'm currently weighing in at 11st4lbs. This is good. It's not good enough though! I am one stone away from where I was at my lightest in recent memory, and where I started to think I looked okay. I am a stone and a half from where I want to be ultimately.
I am increasingly frustrated with the slow pace at which I am losing. After 13 weeks I have lost 7lbs (ok that includes 10 days in France, but that's by the by!).
I am following SW pretty much to the letter but it's just so slow! I know, I know...1lb a week is a good rate of loss, healthy, sensible, 3 stone in a year...yada yada. I just feel a bit like I'm never going to get there, you know? Frustrated. Dangerous.

The good thing is, I know I'm doing this way of eating for life. It's healthy, allows me a bit of normality in my diet and is easy to do. Doesn't stop me occasionally googling 'the maple syrup diet' or 'the latest celebrity fad thing'. I never do them, but it's bad enough that I consider it!

I should get OH to take some photos of where I'm at currently, see what the difference is from my start pics. Will sort that out later.

I am not giving up! The Bridesmaid dress is too much of an incentive. Plus, actually, I would be motivated if it wasn't for an occasion, if it was just for me...which it ultimately is. I am in the zone at the moment...I just want to be slim...finally!

Back in the saddle!

2009-02-23T20:00:00.002Z

I have turned a corner again. It's a good feeling. I am back on track and feeling motivated! I even managed a good weekend with friends, with planned meals and syns. I went slightly over my allowance but do have a couple of days to claw that back.

It feels sooooo much better when I am just doing the right things, I should do it all the time!!!

Weigh in is in two days. Let's see what I can do. At the moment I'm not actually confident of a loss, mind you, I never am until I actually get on the scales. I always think I'll have gained. So perhaps I will have a loss this week but I'll probably gain and that will be another week down the drain. Bah!!!

Still, I'm not giving up. What's the point in eating crap and being unhealthy - I definitely won't lose weight that way. I might as well stick with it and be in with a chance!!

Frustration!!

2009-02-18T21:46:00.002Z

I have been feeling quite grumpy and miserable over the last few days. After my hotel attack and the work day from hell, and subsequent pizza attack, I then got the Valentine's Weekend attack.
I shan't bore you with all the details, but in brief....
I did organise a very good SW friendly meal on Friday but supplemented it with excessive amounts of wine. All within syns though.
Saturday was not fine - I ate an Easter egg!!! And hit the wine again in the evening - about three quarters of a bottle.
Sunday started off okay (I did a great run!) but ended with a curry attack.

Anyway, Monday saw me getting right back on track and I've been really good so far this week. I wii'd on Monday evening and brisk-walked 2 and a half miles tonight.
I am feeling motivated again. I was motivated before but now I feel like I can handle the weekends a bit better.

I know I need to stop making excuses for the weekends. I still can have a few more syns and build in the flexibility that makes me feel 'normal' but I can do it within plan and stop sabotaging myself and making myself feel miserable!

Power of positive thinking. No doubt I'm going to have glum phases again but I just need to remember why I'm doing this - for me. For life.

The Curse of the Hotel

2009-02-11T21:39:00.002Z

So. Bristol was fine and the training course was great, really good. However I had to face the Hotel Food Challenge.

Challenge one - the dinner. Didn't have starter, had a lovely roast lamb rump with roast celeriac, tomatoes and fennel, and green beans with shallots. Fell at the pudding hurdle though. I had poached pear with honey ice cream! And a glass of red wine. I did have a gym workout and swim at the hotel facilities before dinner though, so on balance, I was happy with dinner.

Challenge two - breakfast. Had a big bowl of fruit with a dollop of yoghurt. Then a poached egg, one slice of bacon and some mushrooms. Great.

Challenge three - lunch attack. Not much choice really, it was an ultra creamy fish pie or a beef stew. Opted for stew with a little mash and lots of carrots and peas. Fruit for pudding.

Challenge four - snacks. Fail. 3 werthers originals and a little slice of carrot cake. And an apple.

Challenge five - the journey home. 20 minute fast walk to train station. Excellent. Apple. Good. Home at 9.30. Chinese for tea. Fail!

Overall - not a successful eating adventure. I have a sinking feeling that I won't be losing this week.

Shall I go to Bristol?

2009-02-08T18:47:00.002Z

I am supposed to be going to Bristol tomorrow for a course.

It's snowing in Manchester. It's not going to be too bad tomorrow during the day so I should be okay getting down to Bristol, however, having seen the forecast for Monday evening, I am not confident about getting back on Tuesday evening.
Snow is forecast for the south and Bristol is slap bang in the middle of it all.

So, do I risk going down for the course and not be able to get back?

Argh, what to do?!?!

Results time...

2009-02-06T13:39:00.002Z

It's Friday, it's 7am, it;s.... WEIGH IN TIME!

*drumroll please*

162lbs. That's 1lb off. A result that I'm pleased with actually, after the weekend I had last weekend. 2 nights out, a lot of booze, two un-sw meals...
So yeah. 1lb is 1lb and it's in the right direction.

I wish I had more weekend willpower. I'm ok in the week with routines and planning and stuff, but as soon as I am faced with something that's a bit tricky to plan for I think 'stuff it'! Actually, I did really cut back on syns during the week last week and this week to compensate for last weekend. However, binges of any sort just aren't good.

The thing is, do I be angelic during the week in order to allow myself a less-strict weekend and still have the diet-life balance, but lose more slowly? Or go full on diet-tastic and be a hermit at weekends to avoid temptation and lose more quickly?
I really want to lose this weight, obviously. So I think I need to do a balance of the two more. I need to take control of my weekends. I want to be slim more than I want to have a couple of nights out. I need to choose sensibly in restaurants, be honest with myself about how much booze I am actually consuming but also....not be too hard on myself!

Let's face it, it's impressive that I'm still on my motivated streak. It's usually worn off by now! So if having a more flexible weekend keeps me motivated during the week and on track and losing overall, then that's what I'll do.

Luckily this weekend I'm staying in - no big nights out. So, it'll be easier to keep myself in check! Still having a few syns worth of wine tonight though, of course!!!

It's blog o'clock

2009-02-03T13:24:00.001Z

I have decided to start a blog!

I was never good at keeping a diary as a kid, but seeing as this is primarily about my weight loss, I thought it would be a good thing to do.

Good for moi (a way of getting stuff off my chest, keeping me on the straight and narrow)
and
Good for other slimmers (perhaps people will be inspired or just reassured by my ramblings)

I keep a food diary on the fabulous minimins website. If you're interested in what I am eating and drinking, and doing exercise-wise, please pop over there and have a look. It's a fantastic website with loads of great support, motivation and inspiration. If you're losing weight too, I can thoroughly recommend it, whatever way you're doing it.

A bit of background
At my heaviest, I weighed 15 stone. I started Weight Watchers in 2004 and lost 4 stone, getting down to around 11 stone. I maintained around there for a couple of years, never quite finding the motivation to get to my goal. I got complacent with points and bored of obsessively counting it all.
My weight began to creep up and I stopped going to the gym. I was living with my bf at the time and a lot of takeaways, nights out and wine saw my weight back up to about 12.7. Things then went a bit pear-shaped with the relationship and I threw myself into diet and exercise and with the upset, I wasn't eating properly (a first! I had always been a comfort eater previously!) In February/March 2007 I weighed about 10 stone - the lightest I ever been in my adult life!
Then, I met my fantastic fella. I am happy and settled and very loved up. That equals weight gain! I gained 2 stone in 18 months. Food and booze! Contentment weight, my friends call it!
I decided to do something about it.
I've been doing the Slimming World thing for a while now. I actually started in summer 2008. I went to a class in Chorley for about 2 months, but then moved house and switched to a class in Whitefield, Manchester. I went to 3 classes and then broke my foot! This threw me right off plan. I also went on holiday (whilst in plaster) so 3 weeks in France with no exercise and loads of delicious food and superb wine did nothing good for my weight!
It took me until November to get the motivation to get started again. I found minimins and decided to go it alone. I lost 6lbs before Christmas, which I was delighted with. I regained 4 of that over the festive season. However, I cracked right on with it in the new year and am currently in a very motivated phase. I have started a regular exercise regime, with the aim of running the Manchester Race for Life on 21st June 2009.
I am already feeling the benefits! My clothes fit better, I feel fitter and I am even more motivated!

My goal
I started at a 12 stone. That's 168lbs and just over 76kg. I'm a size 14/16.
I want to weigh 9.7 and be a size 10/12.